I don't know what to say to people that think God DOES this to our kids. You've lost Bub. How do you . . . what do you . . . how does it make sense to others? I know full well that it wasn't because of harder prayers that my Christian is here. I have no guarantee that he will be in the future. BUT I BELIEVE.
What to say? How do you make sense, in human terms, of something so seemingly senseless? Where to begin? ~~deep breath~~...
"BUT I BELIEVE."
Personally, I too am coming from a place where I already had a relationship through Christ, and a faith that had a chance to grow (some) and mature (some) BEFORE neuroblastoma entered our lives. I have walked through valleys before...none so deep and dark, but I believe that every valley is preparing us for the next that may come. Did this test that faith and understanding in greater ways? Certainly. But the foundation was there already, and that I believe makes a vast difference.
Regarding the general question, "why?"
As a Christian, I understand the concept of pain, disease, and death entering the human experience because of sin--not a specific sin, but the general sin that is in every man, woman and child from birth. It's not what we do, it's who we are. I also see a difference between God causing pain, death, and disease (which I do not believe He does) and God ALLOWING the consequences of sin (which I believe He does). To a person who doesn't have a relationship with God the difference between the two is likely negligible. For me, the difference is as far as the east is from the west. And although I do not know why God allowed Braeden to get cancer and die, I do know it was not for nothing. It had, and yet has, purpose. But I also fully understand that His ways are not mine, and His thoughts are so much higher (Isaiah 5:8-9)...some days, I think I see a little bit and it fills me with hope. Other days, it's hard to imagine any purpose through the pain.
So, "why?" I don't know. But I believe.
As far as the more specific question "why?" (as in, "why my child?")--does it matter? Could there ever be an answer that we'd accept? Find "good enough?" Not likely, which is why I generally don't go there. But because I have a relationship with my God, I have trusted Him and He has proven Himself worthy of that time and time again, I don't need to go there. I can have faith that someday I will know and understand, or else it just won't matter anymore. For me there is peace in that--not always, but most days.
So, the short answer is, "I don't believe He does do this to our kids." The question is coming from a person lost deep in pain. I don't think it's necessary to answer more specifically than that unless they ask. Most parents I have met in similar positions don't expect or want an explanation for their loss, they are just voicing their hurt. In addition, delving into a deep theological discussion with someone who does not share your spiritual foundation is not likely to yield the results you'd like. In addition, I speak only from my heart and from my experience--I can not speak for God and what He will do for you, I can only talk about what He has done for me.
The bottom line, I believe, is that there must be a foundation of faith for anything further to stand. We can, and we must, be an example by word AND deed, but merely throwing out pat answers and spiritual sounding quotes is trite and mostly unappreciated. On my own I can not, and will not ever be able to, make sense of something so senseless--especially to someone in a different place than I. But I believe...and I pray that somehow, my belief will help someone else who's hurting to believe as well.
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