September is coming. In Michigan, that means back to school--usually the day after Labor Day. So the weeks before that are a flutter of school supplies, shopping, cramming in as much summer fun as possible as it all winds down. Then there is the seemingly inevitable-- the offhand comments from moms near and far, "I can't WAIT for my kids to go back to school!"
So there it is--another case for perspective. In so many ways, for so many reasons, that phrase just cuts me to the core. Ok, sure, kids can make you crazy. I get that, I am a mom of four. There have been days, even with my absolutely perfect babies... But now the very idea of mom after mom wishing their kids away (even if only for part of the day) when I would give and give up so much to have mine back is something I can't seem to overhear without deep sadness.
Tuesday, September 7, was supposed to be the day Braeden started kindergarten. He should have been eagerly picking out a new backpack, although I know he would have insisted on using his beloved Spidey backpack. He would have been talking a mile a minute about what pencils and crayons he wanted, while I blinked back tears at how fast his baby-hood, toddler-hood, and preschooler-hood flew by. He was so excited and wanted to go to "Yaya kuul" (Yaya's school) so very badly. He should have had two years of going to the same school as his Yaya. She should have had two years of having her precious little brother get out and walk into school with her. Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
And as hard as this all is, harder still is that I know far too many moms who are in a similar place. Their kids should have started school this year too. Or finally been able to go back. Or should have moved on to middle or high school. And they're not. They're not here. And what we wouldn't give to have them here, to have the should have been.
So how's that for a different perspective? It's so hard not to get caught up in the whirlwind of the moment...or the endless bickering or boredom or getting on mom's nerves of summer vacation. But how would it change our attitudes and actions if the next time we are tempted to say we're anxious for our kids to be out of here, we stop and remember the moms who wish so badly their kids were here to get on their nerves, to drive us crazy, even one more time? What if we stop, think of them, say a prayer, and be THANKFUL that our kids are still here, still able to drive us nuts, and remember that things can change in a flash? Wouldn't we treasure more of the crazy moments, knowing that they are only temporary? Perspective can change everything...
Dawn I know we have never met, but since we met online when you started praying for my grandbaby Katie in the weeks before she passes away from NB, well I feel as if we have met. And there is something so strangely familiar about your sweet boy, Bub who is in heaven playing with Katie right now.... This blog of yours just touched my soul. I find myself getting really upset when people say they cant wait till their kids are back in school. I can honestly say I never felt that way, about my older dauther, Katie's mom, or about my younger daughter, Ashley who is now 17. I just always enjoyed my kids so much....and my grandkids are especially special, since I live two and half hours away from them , or rather , her.... I only have one living grandchild now. I also get so agravated when parents or grandparents get all perturbed over little things with their kids or grandkids. I saw a grandma in DQ the other day who was just chastizing her beautiful 3 or 4 year old grandaughter over gettting ice cream on her shirt. I thank God that when I think of those days with my Katie, I didn't sweat the small stuff.... I was reminded of sitting in that very Dairy Queen, with Katie, with Ice Cream all over Katie's face! I thought it was cute! I am so glad I don't have to look back and regret disciplining her for such silly things. I just wanted to shake that grandma, and tell her , "you are so so lucky to have your beautiful grandaughter here with you, wake up Will YA! I can not help but be a bit envious of people who have healthy children and grandchildren. I just want to scream at them: It could be all taken away in an instant, and life will never be the same!Thank you for this blog, we are both going through a valley, Dawn, and someday we will come out on the other side, but we will never be the same. Life will NEVER be the same. I will keep you in my prayers. You are an awesome mom. God bless. Vickie Riley, Nana to Angel Katie, forever four, and Laura Beth, age 2.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean. My daughter left us 2 weeks ago due to neuroblastoma. She would have started pre-k next week. All she has wanted to do is go to school...all she talked about was when she got to go to school and how much she would love it. What I wouldn't give to have her here....thank you for posting what I am feeling.
ReplyDeleteChrista
www.ourturkey.blogspot.com
Thank you Dawn for helping us see the whole picture and gaining some perspective. Love You!
ReplyDeleteI got here from Christa's blog. And I thought of our little friend when I sent my daughter off to First grade this year. Sometimes I find it hard to find thankfulness in the chaos, thank you for reminding me to look at it that way. I will be praying for you and Christa and all the other families who would love to spend just one more day with their child.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written Dawn. Thank you! Brendan should have started 2nd grade today. Last year, I took him to 1st grade for a couple of hours and this year was going to be the year he'd be back in full swing. I feel the same about the parents that are relieved that summer is over. What frustrates me even more is that I've ALWAYS felt that way. I've always said that I don't like when my kids go back to school. The kids would tell you that mom always says, "She doesn't want to share us with our teacher!". I didn't need to lose Brendan to remind me of this. I know that's not what it's about, but it's frustrating.
ReplyDeleteSorry, didn't mean to go on and on! Just wanted you to know that I feel it and remind you I understand. Just wanted to validate your feelings. Sometimes it's what helps most!
~Krista