I Wonder.....as I Wander...

Six years ago today I gave birth to one of the toughest, sweetest, funniest and most particular kids I've ever known. I got to be his mom here on earth for three years, eleven months, one day, two hours, and twenty-seven minutes. I get to be his mom in my heart forever. As I wander this through this valley, I find myself this day, wondering...

What would you be like today? What would you, as a six year old, want for your birthday? You were so into monster trucks, cars, and riding your trike. What would be different if you were here now? What would be "THE" thing now? How would you sound? What would you look like? How would your huge personality have developed? Who would you be today?

I confess I can't imagine. I can't for anything picture in my head you as a six year old. I still hear your voice in my heart and I can't hear it as any different than how it was when I last heard it. I can't imagine you any older, any different, than the "almost four" year old boy that I cherished. You would have been almost done with kindergarten right now, perhaps beginning to read and write, making new friends, maybe riding a big bike. But my mind just can't conjure up imaginative images of any of that.

It's hard to believe that as of today, Braeden has celebrated as many birthdays in heaven as he did here on earth. Maybe that's why I can't picture him aging. My heart wants to hold on to how you were, Buddy, hoping that when I see you again you'll be much the same. In my mind, you were about perfect just the way you were.
I miss you so much, my sweet SuperHero....happy birthday in heaven, little man.