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My dear sweet, precious, little boy,
So many times today I have looked at the clock and wallowed for just a little bit in the flood of memories that each notation of the time brings. Memories that seem distant and surreal, yet remarkably vivid, of three years ago: holding your hand, touching your face, kissing your fuzzy head...our last touches, last words, goodbye kisses. It seems impossible to believe that in just a few hours you will have been gone from this world for three years.
Not too long ago in my memory, you blew into our family like the little hurricane you were. You were a whirlwind of boy, a little tornado of 'tude. But you also brought light to our family, a light made all the more special because of the short time we had to enjoy it. I had no knowledge then of how short our time would be, and how much I would hurt when you left. I never could have imagined that much pain, it's a pain as big as our love for you, and as deep as our longing for you.
Looking back on the years we were blessed to have you, as well as the years since you've been gone, I remember the little things that today I treasure in my heart: your smile, your smell, your voice, your silly jokes, your sticky fingers, your words, your particularities....all those things that made you the amazing, funny little person that you were, Braeden.
I miss those things terribly, sweet boy. I miss all you brought to our family. I miss all the things we didn't get to do as well: teach you to ride a bike, tie your shoes, go to school. All those things we would have done if only we'd had more time.
But the time we had, my Bubba, was precious and beautiful....and nowhere near enough.
I will always wish there had been more, more jokes, more hugs, more of your silly words, more time to hold you. More everything.
But I don't get more, so what I do have, sweet boy, is a part of you that I keep with me. It's how I smile when I'm crying, how I still hear your voice echoing in my heart. There is a place reserved for you in my heart forever, my baby, until I can hold you again.
Thank you, little man, for bringing so much to our lives in your short time with us. I miss you more than you can imagine, and I am so thankful that God loaned us your sweet soul for a little while.
I love you, baby boy, endlessly.....